LPRFC D4 36 Eau Claire Orcs 12

LPRFC D4 36 Eau Claire Orcs 12

by | Oct 27, 2024 | Featured, Match Reports, News, Rugby

Park’s Fellowship Vanquishes Orc Horde in Epic Battle on the Plains

In a display that would have made Gandalf himself stroke his beard in approval, Lincoln Park’s warriors carved out a victory against the Eau Claire Orcs with the precision of Elvish bladework and the raw power of Dwarvish mining.

Before the assembled masses had settled into their seats, McCann – channeling the swift-footed Legolas – plucked an errant pass from the mists like an arrow from his quiver, sprinting 40 yards as if pursued by the Nazgûl themselves. The conversion sailed true, and Park had drawn first blood.

The Orcs, true to their namesake, attempted to bludgeon their way back with all the subtlety of a cave troll in a pottery shop. But they reckoned without the defensive masterclass of Foley and Church, who emerged like twin Rohirrim, scything down runners with clinical efficiency. Their presence at the breakdown was reminiscent of Gimli and Legolas’s friendly competition, each trying to outdo the other in their count of successful turnovers.

Modev, clearly having feasted on lembas bread (or its modern equivalent – a Friday Chinese platter), displayed the endurance of an Ent, steamrolling through the opposition with metronomic consistency. His performance in the engine room would have earned approving nods from the forgemasters of Moria.

As the battle wore on, the dynamic duo of Daley and LaFlore – Park’s answer to the Riders of Rohan – thundered through gaps in the defensive line. Daley’s burst through the middle, finding Lee with a pass that had the precision of Galadriel’s foresight, led to a spectacular corner try that had the crowd rising like the beacons of Gondor.

Yet, despite the victory, one could sense that Lincoln Park D4 felt this was but a taste of what’s to come. Moments of inaccuracy in the enemy’s 22 denied them the ruthlessness that true champions possess. But as Tolkien himself might remind us, all great heroes are forged in the fires of challenge and adversity. And for Park, this performance hinted that even greater glories lie ahead if they can sharpen their swords and strike with precision when opportunities next arise.

But for now, as the sun sets on another Saturday battlefield, Park can raise their mead horns high. The Orcs return to their stronghold vanquished, while Park’s warriors live to fight another day, their quest for glory continuing.

Team: Cullen, Panzica, Modev, Lyons Z, Swancy, Church, Foley, Chrisos, Kishore, McCann, Lee, Daley, LaFlore, Walther, Rosenfeld

Finishers: Rottiers, Wilson J, Harrison, Smith, Olander, Karris, huschen, Carroll

Try: McCann 1, Lee 1, Church 1, Daley 1, LaFlore 1, Karris 1
Con: LaFlore 3

LPRFC D4 52 SSI 15

LPRFC D4 52 SSI 15

by | Oct 13, 2024 | Featured, Match Reports, News, Rugby

In the sweltering heat of an unseasonably hot day, Lincoln Park D4 delivered a performance that will echo through the annals of Midwest rugby, dismantling SSI with a display of power, precision, and occasional profligacy.

The first half was a tale of Park dominance tempered by the cruel hand of fate and the eagle eye of the officials. Twice, the men in gold thought they had crossed the whitewash, only for their jubilation to be cut short. First, it was Delisa, the opportunistic winger, who pounced on a Rosenfeld grubber, only to be ruled to have fumbled at the crucial moment. Then came Clarke’s moment of despair, his try chalked off for a knock-on that had escaped all but the most discerning of eyes.

But Park would not be denied. The converted number 8, Chrisos, injected an element of attacking flair that SSI simply couldn’t contain. It was his pass that finally unleashed DeLisa, who crossed for a try that had been coming since the first whistle. Rottiers, a battering ram in human form, had softened the Irish defense with a bone-crunching break that set the stage for Delisa’s score.

As the half wore on, Park’s superiority began to tell. McCann and Lee added their names to the scoresheet, stretching the lead to a seemingly insurmountable margin. But rugby, in its infinite wisdom, always has a twist in the tale. A momentary lapse in concentration, a misjudgment of the clock, gifted SSI a 5m lineout. From this sliver of opportunity, the Irish conjured a try, a reminder that no lead is truly safe in this most unforgiving of sports.

If the first half showcased Park’s potential, the second was a masterclass in its realization. Delisa, not content with a single score, carved through the Irish defense with a run so mesmeric it left spectators questioning the laws of physics. But it was the power game that truly broke Irish hearts and bodies alike.

Daley and LaFlore, twin titans of destruction, rampaged through the midfield with all the subtlety of a freight train and twice the impact. Daley, in particular, seemed to take personal offense at any attempt to tackle him, brushing aside defenders to score a brace that will give the SSI tacklers nightmares for weeks to come. Not to be outdone, LaFlore added his own long-range effort, a try that spoke volumes of Park’s fitness and ambition.

This was more than a victory; it was a statement. Lincoln Park D4 have secured the Midwest’s number one seed heading into the playoffs, and on this evidence, they will take some stopping. For SSI, there will be soul-searching and bruise-counting in equal measure. For the neutrals, it was a reminder of rugby’s capacity to thrill, even in the face of oppressive heat.

As the dust settles on this encounter, one can’t help but feel that we’ve witnessed the emergence of a force in Midwest rugby. Lincoln Park D4 have thrown down the gauntlet. The question now is: who dares to pick it up?

Team: Wilson J, Rottiers, Modev, Smith, Swancy, Church, Foley, Chrisos, Scully, McCann, DeLisa, Daley, Clarke, Lee, Rosenfeld

Finishers: Rasmussen, Harrison, David, Olander, LaFlore, Walsh E, Schoenes, Lakin

Try: DeLiasa 2, McCann 1, Lee 1, Daley 2, LaFlore 1, Clarke 1,
Con: Clarke 5, Olander 1

Lake County 26 LPRFC D4 45

Lake County 26 LPRFC D4 45

by | Sep 26, 2024 | Featured, Match Reports, News, Rugby

The hallowed turf of Gurnee became a battleground of rugby’s raw essence as LPRFC, locked horns with Lake County in a contest that swung like a pendulum on steroids.

From the opening whistle, Park’s Walther and LaFlore emerged as twin battering rams, demolishing Lake County’s defensive line with the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop. Walther, with the grace of a ballet dancer and the power of a freight train, pirouetted down the wing to draw first blood. LaFlore, not to be outdone, added his name to the scoresheet faster than you can say “hand in the ruck”.

In the engine room, props Harrison and Primdahl turned the middle of the park into their personal fiefdom. These behemoths, with necks thicker than most men’s thighs, pounded the turf with metronomic precision, softening up Lake County’s resolve like a tenderiser on a tough steak.

Karris and Clarke, seizing their moment, extended Park’s lead with the ruthlessness of Roman conquerors. At this point, one could have been forgiven for reaching for the whisky to toast an early victory. But oh, how the rugby gods love to toy with mortal expectations!

As if struck by some cosmic jape, the wheels came off Park’s chariot. With Smith making his offering to the porcelain gods on the sideline, Lake County’s numbers 4 and 10 – anonymous in name but Herculean in deed – dragged their side back from the brink. 28-26, and suddenly we had a game that would make the neutrals salivate and the partisans reach for their heart medication.

Enter Coach Sowa, a tactical savant with the keen eye of a chess grandmaster. In a move that would make Machiavelli nod in approval, he unleashed his cavalry – David, Wilson, and Spath – onto the battlefield. Kishore, who had been taking more hits than a punching bag in a heavyweight’s gym, gave way to Walsh. Walther, lungs heaving like bellows, made way for Carroll’s fresh pins.

The impact was immediate and devastating. DeLisa and Karris, with legs pumping like pistons and sidesteps that would shame a salsa dancer, carved through Lake County’s defence to dot down twice more.

Yet rugby, that fickle mistress, wasn’t done with her drama. Sisti, Park’s flanker extraordinaire, crumpled with a rolled ankle, his cries of anguish drowned out by the collective gasp of the home support. In a move that smacked of desperation (or genius, depending on your barstool of choice), the Georgian Suladze – a forward/back hybrid that would have taxonomists scratching their heads – was thrust into the fray, and the Caucasian conundrum punched through for a score that sealed the deal.

In the end, Lincoln Park emerged victorious from a match that had more twists than a pretzel factory. It was a game that reminded us why we love this sport – for its unpredictability, its brutality, and its moments of sublime skill. As the fans filed out, no doubt heading to the nearest pub to dissect every pass and tackle, one thing was clear: rugby was the true winner today.

Team: Primdahl, Lyons T, Harrison, Smith, Lyons Z, Church, Sisti, Swancy, Kishore, Rosenfeld, DeLisa, LaFlore, Clarke, Walther, Karris

Finishers: Dorn, Wilson, David, Barrett, Spath, Walsh, Suladze, Carroll

Try: Walther 1, LaFlore 1, Clarke 1, Karris 2, DeLisa 1, Suladze 1
Con: Clarke 4, Walsh 1

LPRFC D4 59 Kenosha 7

LPRFC D4 59 Kenosha 7

by | Sep 16, 2024 | Featured, Match Reports, News, Rugby

In the grand theatre of Midwestern rugby, Lincoln Park D4 orchestrated a symphony of destruction, leaving Kenosha battered and bewildered in a 59-7 thrashing that will echo through the annals of the league for seasons to come.

At the heart of this ruthless display was the mercurial McCann, pulling the strings at fly-half with the grace of a virtuoso and the cunning of a card sharp. Spurred on by his own personal chorus line on the sidelines, McCann carved through Kenosha’s defence like a hot knife through butter, notching up a quartet of tries that left the opposition questioning their life choices.

But this was no one-man show. In the engine room, Swancy proved to be a second-row colossus, combining the light fingers of a master thief with the raw power of a charging rhino. His performance was a masterclass in the dark arts of forward play, leaving Kenosha’s pack looking like lost sheep in a wolf’s den.

The front row, often the unsung heroes of any rugby match, today sang louder than a Welsh male voice choir. Robb and Lyons slotted in with the seamless precision of a Swiss watch, while David – oh, David! – redefined the role of the modern prop. Watching him gallop across the turf before contact was like witnessing a wildebeest migration in miniature. One can only imagine the nightmares that will haunt Kenosha’s tacklers in the weeks to come.

And let us not forget the boot of Clarke, as reliable as death and taxes. His conversion rate of 7 from 9 ensured that each try was given its full due, turning what could have been merely a victory into an absolute rout.

As for Kenosha, they found themselves mere spectators to their own demise. Their defensive line, sliding to cover the outside channels with all the effectiveness of a chocolate teapot, left gaps that McCann exploited with gleeful abandon. Their solitary try stands as a lone candle in the face of a hurricane – admirable in its defiance, but ultimately futile.

In the end, this was more than a match; it was a statement. Lincoln Park D4 have thrown down the gauntlet, and as they bask in the afterglow of their second emphatic victory of the season, one can’t help but wonder: is this the birth of a dynasty, or merely a fleeting moment of brilliance? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain – rugby in these parts will never be the same again.

Team: Robb, Lyons T, David, Foley, Swancy, Church, Sisti, Olander, Walsh E, McCann, DeLisa, Daley, Clarke, Walther, Rosenfeld

Finishers: Rowley, Carter, Patat, Brach, McDonough, Callovini, Niewinski, Clark

Try: McCann 4, Swancy 3, Daley 1, Walsh 1
Con: Clarke 7

LPRFC D4 43 Fox Valley D4 14

LPRFC D4 43 Fox Valley D4 14

by | Sep 9, 2024 | Featured, Match Reports, News, Rugby

In a display that would have had the rugby gods nodding in approval, Lincoln Park’s D4 side unleashed a performance against Fox Valley that was as swift as it was merciless. The match kicked off with a try that had barely given the spectators time to settle into their seats, as LaFlore etched his name into club folklore with possibly the fastest debut try in Lincoln Park’s history. A mere 30 seconds had elapsed when, following a bustling 50-yard run that left Fox Valley defenders grabbing at thin air, LaFlore demonstrated the opportunism of a seasoned poacher, scooping up an errant Fox Valley pass to dot down. It was a start that had ‘statement of intent’ written all over it in bold, capital letters.

But Park were far from done. Just five minutes later, they served up a try of such exquisite quality that it deserved to be hung in the Louvre. A counter-attack initiated by Karris down the right flank, which had more zip than a caffeinated cheetah, was swiftly recycled. The ball then zipped through hands with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker before finding Beniana, who bulldozed over with all the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop.

In midfield, Clarke, Sisti and Foley turned the area into a no-go zone for Fox Valley, their tackling so ferocious it should have come with a health warning. Fox Valley runners were chopped down with such regularity, one half expected to see lumberjacks applying for the positions.

However, the rugby gods have a way of reminding us of the game’s inherent dangers. A sobering moment came just before half-time when a Fox Valley player suffered a neck injury. The ever-vigilant ILBJ staff sprang into action with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine, and an ambulance was summoned. Our thoughts and best wishes go out for a full recovery, and it’s heartening to hear that he’s on the mend.

After the break, Park picked up where they left off, with Olander scoring a try so simple it could have been gift-wrapped. Picking up a fumbled ball a yard out under the posts, Olander probably expended more energy celebrating than actually scoring.

The introduction of fresh legs proved to be a masterstroke. Daley came off the bench like a man possessed, notching two tries from powerful runs and coming within a whisker of a hat-trick. Not to be outdone, Schoenes and Niewinski also got in on the act, crossing the whitewash on their respective wings with the eagerness of children racing for the last slice of cake.

In the end, Lincoln Park’s performance was as complete as it was dominant. If they can maintain this level of play, opposition teams might start checking the fixture list with the same trepidation one reserves for a dentist appointment. As for Fox Valley, they’ll be licking their wounds and hoping that the rugby gods show them more favor in their next outing. On this evidence, Lincoln Park’s D4 side isn’t just playing rugby – they’re redefining it.

 

Team: Wilson J, Walker, David, Lyons Z, Smith, Sisti, Beniana, Foley, Kishore, Rosenfeld, Callovini, LaFlore, Clarke, Olander, Karris

Finishers: Lyons T, Rowley, Robb, Patat, Daley, Schoenes, Huschen, Niewinski

Try: Daley 2, LaFlore 1, Beniana 1, Olander 1, Schones 1, Niewinski 1
Con: Clarke 3, Walker 1