The hallowed turf of Gurnee became a battleground of rugby’s raw essence as LPRFC, locked horns with Lake County in a contest that swung like a pendulum on steroids.

From the opening whistle, Park’s Walther and LaFlore emerged as twin battering rams, demolishing Lake County’s defensive line with the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop. Walther, with the grace of a ballet dancer and the power of a freight train, pirouetted down the wing to draw first blood. LaFlore, not to be outdone, added his name to the scoresheet faster than you can say “hand in the ruck”.

In the engine room, props Harrison and Primdahl turned the middle of the park into their personal fiefdom. These behemoths, with necks thicker than most men’s thighs, pounded the turf with metronomic precision, softening up Lake County’s resolve like a tenderiser on a tough steak.

Karris and Clarke, seizing their moment, extended Park’s lead with the ruthlessness of Roman conquerors. At this point, one could have been forgiven for reaching for the whisky to toast an early victory. But oh, how the rugby gods love to toy with mortal expectations!

As if struck by some cosmic jape, the wheels came off Park’s chariot. With Smith making his offering to the porcelain gods on the sideline, Lake County’s numbers 4 and 10 – anonymous in name but Herculean in deed – dragged their side back from the brink. 28-26, and suddenly we had a game that would make the neutrals salivate and the partisans reach for their heart medication.

Enter Coach Sowa, a tactical savant with the keen eye of a chess grandmaster. In a move that would make Machiavelli nod in approval, he unleashed his cavalry – David, Wilson, and Spath – onto the battlefield. Kishore, who had been taking more hits than a punching bag in a heavyweight’s gym, gave way to Walsh. Walther, lungs heaving like bellows, made way for Carroll’s fresh pins.

The impact was immediate and devastating. DeLisa and Karris, with legs pumping like pistons and sidesteps that would shame a salsa dancer, carved through Lake County’s defence to dot down twice more.

Yet rugby, that fickle mistress, wasn’t done with her drama. Sisti, Park’s flanker extraordinaire, crumpled with a rolled ankle, his cries of anguish drowned out by the collective gasp of the home support. In a move that smacked of desperation (or genius, depending on your barstool of choice), the Georgian Suladze – a forward/back hybrid that would have taxonomists scratching their heads – was thrust into the fray, and the Caucasian conundrum punched through for a score that sealed the deal.

In the end, Lincoln Park emerged victorious from a match that had more twists than a pretzel factory. It was a game that reminded us why we love this sport – for its unpredictability, its brutality, and its moments of sublime skill. As the fans filed out, no doubt heading to the nearest pub to dissect every pass and tackle, one thing was clear: rugby was the true winner today.

Team: Primdahl, Lyons T, Harrison, Smith, Lyons Z, Church, Sisti, Swancy, Kishore, Rosenfeld, DeLisa, LaFlore, Clarke, Walther, Karris

Finishers: Dorn, Wilson, David, Barrett, Spath, Walsh, Suladze, Carroll

Try: Walther 1, LaFlore 1, Clarke 1, Karris 2, DeLisa 1, Suladze 1
Con: Clarke 4, Walsh 1