Park’s Fellowship Vanquishes Orc Horde in Epic Battle on the Plains
In a display that would have made Gandalf himself stroke his beard in approval, Lincoln Park’s warriors carved out a victory against the Eau Claire Orcs with the precision of Elvish bladework and the raw power of Dwarvish mining.
Before the assembled masses had settled into their seats, McCann – channeling the swift-footed Legolas – plucked an errant pass from the mists like an arrow from his quiver, sprinting 40 yards as if pursued by the Nazgûl themselves. The conversion sailed true, and Park had drawn first blood.
The Orcs, true to their namesake, attempted to bludgeon their way back with all the subtlety of a cave troll in a pottery shop. But they reckoned without the defensive masterclass of Foley and Church, who emerged like twin Rohirrim, scything down runners with clinical efficiency. Their presence at the breakdown was reminiscent of Gimli and Legolas’s friendly competition, each trying to outdo the other in their count of successful turnovers.
Modev, clearly having feasted on lembas bread (or its modern equivalent – a Friday Chinese platter), displayed the endurance of an Ent, steamrolling through the opposition with metronomic consistency. His performance in the engine room would have earned approving nods from the forgemasters of Moria.
As the battle wore on, the dynamic duo of Daley and LaFlore – Park’s answer to the Riders of Rohan – thundered through gaps in the defensive line. Daley’s burst through the middle, finding Lee with a pass that had the precision of Galadriel’s foresight, led to a spectacular corner try that had the crowd rising like the beacons of Gondor.
Yet, despite the victory, one could sense that Lincoln Park D4 felt this was but a taste of what’s to come. Moments of inaccuracy in the enemy’s 22 denied them the ruthlessness that true champions possess. But as Tolkien himself might remind us, all great heroes are forged in the fires of challenge and adversity. And for Park, this performance hinted that even greater glories lie ahead if they can sharpen their swords and strike with precision when opportunities next arise.
But for now, as the sun sets on another Saturday battlefield, Park can raise their mead horns high. The Orcs return to their stronghold vanquished, while Park’s warriors live to fight another day, their quest for glory continuing.
Team: Cullen, Panzica, Modev, Lyons Z, Swancy, Church, Foley, Chrisos, Kishore, McCann, Lee, Daley, LaFlore, Walther, Rosenfeld
Finishers: Rottiers, Wilson J, Harrison, Smith, Olander, Karris, huschen, Carroll
Try: McCann 1, Lee 1, Church 1, Daley 1, LaFlore 1, Karris 1
Con: LaFlore 3
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