In a display that would have had the rugby gods nodding in approval, Lincoln Park’s D4 side unleashed a performance against Fox Valley that was as swift as it was merciless. The match kicked off with a try that had barely given the spectators time to settle into their seats, as LaFlore etched his name into club folklore with possibly the fastest debut try in Lincoln Park’s history. A mere 30 seconds had elapsed when, following a bustling 50-yard run that left Fox Valley defenders grabbing at thin air, LaFlore demonstrated the opportunism of a seasoned poacher, scooping up an errant Fox Valley pass to dot down. It was a start that had ‘statement of intent’ written all over it in bold, capital letters.

But Park were far from done. Just five minutes later, they served up a try of such exquisite quality that it deserved to be hung in the Louvre. A counter-attack initiated by Karris down the right flank, which had more zip than a caffeinated cheetah, was swiftly recycled. The ball then zipped through hands with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker before finding Beniana, who bulldozed over with all the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop.

In midfield, Clarke, Sisti and Foley turned the area into a no-go zone for Fox Valley, their tackling so ferocious it should have come with a health warning. Fox Valley runners were chopped down with such regularity, one half expected to see lumberjacks applying for the positions.

However, the rugby gods have a way of reminding us of the game’s inherent dangers. A sobering moment came just before half-time when a Fox Valley player suffered a neck injury. The ever-vigilant ILBJ staff sprang into action with the efficiency of a well-oiled machine, and an ambulance was summoned. Our thoughts and best wishes go out for a full recovery, and it’s heartening to hear that he’s on the mend.

After the break, Park picked up where they left off, with Olander scoring a try so simple it could have been gift-wrapped. Picking up a fumbled ball a yard out under the posts, Olander probably expended more energy celebrating than actually scoring.

The introduction of fresh legs proved to be a masterstroke. Daley came off the bench like a man possessed, notching two tries from powerful runs and coming within a whisker of a hat-trick. Not to be outdone, Schoenes and Niewinski also got in on the act, crossing the whitewash on their respective wings with the eagerness of children racing for the last slice of cake.

In the end, Lincoln Park’s performance was as complete as it was dominant. If they can maintain this level of play, opposition teams might start checking the fixture list with the same trepidation one reserves for a dentist appointment. As for Fox Valley, they’ll be licking their wounds and hoping that the rugby gods show them more favor in their next outing. On this evidence, Lincoln Park’s D4 side isn’t just playing rugby – they’re redefining it.

Team: Wilson J, Walker, David, Lyons Z, Smith, Sisti, Beniana, Foley, Kishore, Rosenfeld, Callovini, LaFlore, Clarke, Olander, Karris

Finishers: Lyons T, Rowley, Robb, Patat, Daley, Schoenes, Huschen, Niewinski

Try: Daley 2, LaFlore 1, Beniana 1, Olander 1, Schones 1, Niewinski 1
Con: Clarke 3, Walker 1